dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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