Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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