So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
