dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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