i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
