apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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