he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
