AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You may now shotgun with the bride
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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