Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
