I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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