do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
