I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
