I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
