Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
