u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am one with the molecules
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
