HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
