Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
