if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
