i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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