What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
