he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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