M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
