you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
