i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
