the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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