You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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