no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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