Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
