god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
