I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
