I heard we made out
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
