Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
