whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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