the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
