is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
