____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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