You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
