one two three fourrrrnication!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
