hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
