Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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