All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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