i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
