i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
