So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
