So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
