I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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