OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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