Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
