i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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