she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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