do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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