I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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