My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Damn victory sex feels great
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
