coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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