imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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