PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
